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Showing posts from July, 2021

Going Legit with my Bottom F Sharps

  Chasing opera dreams again means going legit. Queeny O'Shaugnessy in her Blackpool B and B would have something to say. I stayed with her for the Showzam Festival. ‘And I shan’t kid you, kid,’ Queeny said, booking me in over the phone. ‘It is a greasy spoon with rooms. Don’t expect any of your ensuite this or sachets of chocolate that or distressed drawers the other. I’ll have Pledged, Swiffered and Toilet Ducked right round your bend – but no chocolate on the pillow. Though turning in I guarantee you’ll still be full up from the egg and sausage barm I dished you up that morning, if not the previous. Mellow Birds cupped bottomless. If I find you can ply draft excluders fastidious, I’ll jug you a kipper. ‘My mother, God find a refuge from her, ran a bed and half board up nearer Stanley Park than she warranted. In those days her gaff were certainly called ‘legit’. You’d never have been let in. It were for actors, classical musicians – no variety turns. John Mills’s f...