On the De-Modernisation of the Church

A posse led by Lady Dawn and Annabel Williams-Smyth approached the Reverend Peter Cooper, the new incumbent of St Mary's, Deaven Hatherly, to ask if he would please jettison the handshake accompanying the passing of the peace.

Reverend Cooper agreed, believing the ladies shared his own concern that high(ish) church St Mary's was becoming happy-clappy.

Whereas actually, Lady Davies and co had always been anxious they might have to shake hands with a fisherman, or their daily woman, or that ghastly unfrocked monk from the bric-a-brac shop.

True story.

And it has a coda...

When Lady D, Annabel and other kapok-stuffed ladies of Deaven were rummaging through the boxes of Christmas cards in the library, I believe it was Annette Frint who commented how pleased she was that each box of cards was clearly labelled. 'Then one knows which specific charity one might be supporting, and can avoid those which are just that bit too overseas oriented. Well, it was their own lookout - certain undeveloped nations choosing to throw all our good help back in our faces by leaving the Empire...'

#church#religion#passingofthepeace#eucharist#churchofengland#religion#humour#snob#snobbery#class#classwar#workingclass#humor#humour#comedy#publicspeaker#talks

Comments

My Mate Jamie-Ray Hartshorne

I've been noticing that alongside photos of Jamie-Ray being a lead in Altar Boys , creating Change My Body UK TM , working the door at Freedom - and clearly asking people passing by wherever that rockpool may be to snap a double-bicep - this sort of thing is cropping up on his social media: We're in The Diner, Jamestown Road, Camden. He's between tour dates of The Bodyguard, and meetings to discuss sportswear and creatine endorsements. The latter, he says, being all about making his product better. Between sips of his peanut butter milkshake (he's allowing himself dairy today in my honour - I don't quite know how to take that) he says in his soft Brum, 'I've signed up for a major Muay Thai event in Thailand next February. I'm going up against one of the Thai fighters. That's the only real way to gain any respect in the fighting world. That's why you've been noticing the combat photos. I...

Me Featuring in The Sunday Times, Nicely...

This happened. The editor thinks it's a book of dog sitter stories waiting to happen. I am scribbling away at same... I first house-sat by accident. I was originally at Haven House, Lembton, as a live-in safety net for Lady Olive Simmonds, a seventy-nine year-old Bostonian with a lilac afro, a Temazepam habit and leg ulcers. Haven House was by the sea. Eighteenth century, elegant, comfortable. But there was Olive... Always in pain; either drunk, hungover or both; barely educated. She had married a man who was knighted, and believed this gave her a licence to be a twat. According to Olive, her fellow Lembtonians were all dull academics - this group having reading ages older than hers, which was thirteen - or failed schizophrenics. She had serious monophobia, with staff working (unnecessarily) every day apart from weekends. At weekends, first thing, anxious, she would ring round the Lembtonians that were still speaking to her - six in number - inviting them for coffee, ...

The Marine Says I Must Re-queer...

Being camp in Camp Basra... Stacks, ex-Royal Marines Commando, recently watched my Tutu Went AWOL! show on Zoom. He had notes. I was shifting from foot to foot, he said, and gesturing too much. 'And you must put back the stuff about the Brigadier and your fellow comedian being homophobic...' The Brigadier had been sneering about my act, saying it would be more suited to Butlins. But, more importantly, he believed I was an 'inappropriate influence on 42 Commando'. Stacks, deadpan, commented, 'Sir, before Iestyn started hanging out with us, sir, it had never occurred to him to play Tiddlywinks with anything other than his thumb, sir.' My fellow comedian, who I'll call Mark, because that's his name, asked Reg, Garrison Sergeant Major, in front of ...

Iestyn Edwards is...what?

Search This Blog