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Imposter Syndrome



   The Christmas corporate bookings are coming in. As Madame Galina, I'll perform the Sugar Plum Fairy; then when I've told the story of the Royal Marine taking umbrage at me onstage in Iraq and running out of the venue with me over his shoulder to dump me on a tank turret, I'll sing a big operatic number.
  Over the years, as my voice has gone up and down in range, the sung pieces for corporate bookings have changed. In the past, I've sung "Bill", "Auld Lang Syne", "Fly Home Little Heart", and others. Most recently, in Aldeburgh, I sang Wolfram's "Song to the Evening Star".
  In June this year, I sang Hunding in Die Walkure with the Mahler Players, conducted by Tomas Leakey. Claire Rutter was Sieglinde, Peter Wedd Siegfried.  Both were wonderful.
  I'm studying now with Peter.  He teaches me to sing in as relaxed and natural a way as possible, and has anchored my voice in its true bass-baritone range.  Unhinged by the ears, a column of air dropping off my genitals, leaning back into an imagined silent 'Ah'.
  And he has told me to let folk know I'm back in opera.
  'Start spreading the news...I'm singing low As...'
  Until I started working with Peter at our digs in Cromarty, I was suffering chronic Imposter Syndrome.  Well, who wouldn't?  I had last sung in an opera in 1994.  We three Highlands Wagnerians were asked to tell the Inverness Courier what had been our most recent big sing.  Claire's was Aida for Opera North; Peter's was Lohengrin for Welsh National Opera; mine was Five Fake Welsh Songs in my most beaded tutu for the Kesgrave WI.

#opera #wagner #singinglessons #singing #amsinging #christmascarols #carols #christmas #advent #impostersyndrome #bassbaritone #amsinging

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