Making a Toaster Toast

Coochie, a late teen, in the pub wearing a lime green tracksuit ironed to cutting edges by his mother, needed to buy a new toaster.

He had never been left home alone before - clearly had never done anything for himself at home before - and his mother had gone on holiday.

Making breakfast for the first time ever, he had spread butter and jam on the bread before putting it in the toaster.

'How was I to know? That's how it always is on my plate.'

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