Here’s my audiobook for you. Will you buy? Click here
It’s self-narrated: with songs, adlibs and bloopers as standard.
‘Achingly funny!’ Daily Mail
‘A book unlike any other, of a story unlike any other. Totally mad, very funny and highly recommended.’ ***** Dr Adam Kay, author of This is Going to Hurt: the Nation’s Favourite Book Guardian
Here’s the story…
I sang in private formally for Queen Elisabeth ii on HMS Victory, and then accidentally auditioned to take my drag ballerina act out to entertain troops in Iraq and Afghanistan.
In full tutu.
When I realised my mistake, I thought I’d go anyway.
Cut to: with tutu and tiara in a Primark bag, me arriving bedraggled in Basra. As Stacks, the Royal Marines Commando, commented: ‘Being flown out to one of the big two — Iraq and Afghanistan — is like you’ve been beamed down off the Starship Enterprise, and this time Scotty’s got the coordinates well and truly buggered!’
I went from this:

…to:

The MoD wrote it up as an ‘honourable exchange’ when Stacks kicked off at me for not doing his attack drill quickly enough in what he called my 'frock of far too many doilies'.
Then the insurgents started shelling.
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