Regimental Sergeant Major 'Tina' Turner emailed me when I was just back from performing in Iraq.
Iestyn my mate, you are truly barking as a turn and I don’t know how you do it, particularly where you’ve just been. I was surprised to say the least when I heard what you were to be about in the wilds of Iraq. But I suppose you have little choice but to carry on with it because of the scarcity of Rest Homes for Retired Sugar Plums. Perhaps you could find one, however, and have a little lie down over Christmas?
'...whatever Full House Magazine may be...'
‘But I told Ranjit all sorts of things about aspects of creativity,' I said.
‘ “I was a different child. My mother remembers me sitting for hours as a chubby toddler listening to Pinky and Perky sing “I Love Little Pussy” - turned out it was the same tune as a folk-song that Tchaikovsky used in Swan Lake. And I would stand sideways on to the full-length mirror in the hall wearing just my nappy and say, very sadly, that I had lost my figure…” “…Foxes have always been a symbol for me of breaking out of something. Of going forward towards dreams. A fox was leaping through the marsh fields when I first performed at the Aldeburgh Festival. I nearly walked into one coming round the corner of the Black Prince Road after closing the first half of Topping and Butch’s show at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern. And after my gig when Madonna was out front at Klub Kabaret a fox was using the crossing on Camden Road by the Tesco garage where the skate park is nowadays…” “…But what was my character’s name? Suddenly, one day: ‘My name is Madame Galina,' I said to myself in a high-pitched foreign accent. Then I froze. I'd never heard the name before and had no idea why it had come into my head, unbidden like that. Or in that accent. Little did I know that my alter ego had just been born”.’
'Genius, hon!' Nicky commented. 'We were all wanting to know in the office - what could have been in the press release you sent them after Iraq?'
RSM Tina Turner would certainly choose the fucking Beano over that!