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Move Back to Brighton 2

 Flixy (disregarding my advice at the time) told Trombone Tracey not to pay her last month's rent, she would use the deposit for it. As an avid watcher of Judge Judy and The People's Court I warned her not to. The room as I find it is a collection of non-compensated dilapidations. Ruined paintwork, scuff marks, gouges, nails, blue-tac, oily/sticky patches, water damage, sun warping - and is filthy. But Flixy being Flixy insists, 'I've made you up a lovely bed, with my nice cushions.'

Orange bedding is not lovely. 

'I told Trombone Tracey to be careful of my nice cushions when she painted the curved bit of wall in her room,' Flixy tells me. 'I stood them upright to give your fold-me-out sofa bed a bit of a comfortable look - isn't it? - and saw there was flaked sky blue on them.'

I try and lower my breathing. 


Trying yet again to self-diagnose I read how certain strands of Autism are affected by the increased blurring of seasons, added to the already year round availability of 'seasonal' produce. 

Nowadays you won’t see signs outside the Bollinger Club: Gentlemen, as the asparagus season is upon us, may we respectfully ask you not to urinate in the dahlia pots? On Trixie, Maisie or Doris, of course, please feel free. Also, gentlemen, we trust at all times of the year after a dish of offal in pig trotters aspic with mustard and horseradish you would refrain from sodomy with any of our staff?

In the diaries of Bollinger Club members, alongside the expected British Summer Time Begins, Christmas Day and Bank Holiday, were printed the dates of Henley, Ascot, Biarritz, Melba performances at Covent Garden and End of horseradish thus opening of pot-boy Jasper’s superb-pooper season. 

I believe this is all historically accurate.



#diary #memoir #lgbtqia #gay #funny #humour #brighton #brightonandhove 

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