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How's My Wife...?

At the Turkish Barbers' Academy yesterday, I asked the stylist for a number three on top, two on the sides.

He asked if my wife liked me to always have three and two?

'I'm not married.'

'Why not?  You're a man.'

'Are you married?'

'No.'

'But you're a man...'


Later, during the Q and A after my Women's Institute lecture, a member asked me to lift up my tutu so she could see my knickers properly. 

'No.'

'Well, please pirouette again, it flew up when you did that.' 

'Then you've seen already, no?'

Another wondered if I would like an extra piece of her (delicious) cake to take home to my wife. 

'Husband, possibly,' I said, bemused.

'Well, I don't like to make assumptions.'


The nurse at the NHS walk in centre thinks this kind of behaviour is a by-product of lockdown. 


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