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Move Back to Brighton 6

 Marty has the brightest orange socks. He tells me, unnecessarily, Flixy bought them. His feet are very small. I don't like that he messaged saying he was coming to pick some stuff up, so not to be worried if I heard strange noises downstairs; that implies I would automatically be upstairs in my attic. No. He is there for some leads, chargers and records, he tells me. I nearly reply, 'We do not wish to hear this, kindly leave the stage', which, Ken told me, they used to sing during auditions at the BBC in the nineteen sixties. I still fantasise about Ken's niece, Naomi, ringing to tell me probate has gone through so I can now have his flat. 'Or the cash equivalent.' 

Confused WhatsApp from Kristian saying sorry (I had messaged him saying he is not to smoke - I saw some photos on his Instagram) but he was put onto work yesterday, and it's thirteen hours door to door delivering parcels. 'Not so sure about this...' One of his routes takes him directly past his ex's front door. 'Good'. Good as he might bump into her, good sarcastically? 

I'm writing this at 4am. Didn't sleep, too much fretting about what I've done coming here. I feel trapped by Flixy, Marty, their clutter - Flixy has three piles of frowsty baskets in the sitting room - their lack of cleaning, their talking at me. They're both the type who, if you were to ask how the wedding went Saturday, would ignore Voltaire's warning, 'If you want to bore the public, tell them everything' and tell you everything, starting with their morning wee. 

But where to go? I do want my deposit back immediately. Why did she ask for it - the place is a hovel? Damages might just improve things. I also wish to take out some money for cleaning from my next payment. And reduce all future payments by, I think, sixty pounds. 

Screams tells me he and Flixy are talking again (she talks patronisingly about him a lot) after the break up. 'She told me ALL about her fall, hurting her knee. ALL about it.' 

I said, 'She's common. Common people live for opportunities to boast about illness, rows and bulk-buying toilet paper.' 



#biography #diary #diaries #lgbtqia #brighton #gay #depression 

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