Flixy said, 'If you're doing past the Lidl at the end of the road past the Bingo Hall - where it turns off to go to the Marina - can you return something?'
I queued twice. She hadn't given me the pin for her card. She then gave me the wrong pin. And when I told her this, insisted she had rung to tell me the correct pin, right after I told her about the first pin being wrong. There had been no such phone call. As I was walking away from Lidl, to look at some more typical Brighton Blue Plaques that come under the heading; 'Who the fuck was that?!', she texted with the wrong pin number again and a different one.
I've been working on some material based on her compulsion to begin every sentence with 'I', and on the way she can turn anywhere you care to mention into a venue relevant to herself.
'Leigh-on-Sea? I did a photo shoot there. You know my fembot one? The photographer can get a bit sleazy but he was okay with me. He said he really loved my look. Too many of the girls he sees, he says, are too skinny.'
'If you go the long [completely wrong] way round to the library, you'll pass the pub I've just been asked to do a New Year's Eve gig in. They said they really love my look. Too many of the girls they see, they said, are too skinny.'
'The Royal British Legion? I was on a float for them in Worthing dressed as Britannia and sang "We'll meet Again" going down the shopping area. When we ended up in the bypass leading to the big Morrison's a tramp fisted me. Only anally, as it turned out, so no real harm done. He said he really loved my look. Too many of the girls he tries to fist are too skinny.'
#memoir #autobiography #diary #journal #brighton #lgbtqia #burlesque
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