Skip to main content

Thoughts on Oscar Wilde's "The Happy Prince"




  Am all over touting for presales of my book My Tutu's Gone AWOL! Discussing the crowdfunding aspect with Xander at Unbound I was a bit bemoany, as the report from the reader was that she shouldn't have read the book ahead of the other projects waiting for her attention, but the title made her so curious. She began reading at once, getting curiouser and curiouser and curiouser, came to the end, stopped, and happily recommended it for publication.  
  So why do I have to crowdfund it, why can't it just be taken up? 
  Xander said I had in passing mentioned that I would be approaching my banker mates - well, blame them! 
  I have done.  They don't like it. 

  What I don't like is any lack of response to my crowdfunding pleas. With hints strongly pre-dropped, I've so far proofread a film script - no pledge made. Edited a How to Handstand article - no pledge made. Given four two hour long singing lessons - no plege made. 
  Yes, I must get over being annoyed. 
  My attitude to people being on the receiving end of my expertise yet not yet buying my book reminds me of a recent walk along the side of the Meare in Thorpeness.  I was overhearing a mother at the really had enough now stage of answering her four year-old's questions. 
  'But why are there still some of the geese here, mummy, when you said they all flew south for the winter?'
  'Well, perhaps it's like in that ever so sad story we read you about the statue and the swallow - you remember, The Happy Prince?'
  'No. Did anyone get killed badly?'
  'The swallow died in the most sad, sad circumstances because it stayed too long into the cold weather and - '
  'Will the geese die?'
  'No, they're too well covered, aren't they, to die of cold? Look at the thickness of their feathers.'
  'Why wasn't the swallow well covered?'
  'Because swallows don't have to keep as warm as all that. They spend their time in two springs and summers each year, so wouldn't need to grow thick feathers.'
  'But you just said the swallow died of the cold.'
  'Yes, but that's because it stayed longer into a winter than it ought to have done and didn't fly to its warmer clime.' 
  'Why?'
  'Because it was helping the happy prince do something lovely for the poor.'
  'What?'
  'Donating bits of him to them.'
  'Like granny did when she died at uncle Tom's?  She had that card, didn't she?'
  'Not quite. And it turned out that granny took the wrong purse with her when she went away for the weekend, anyway...' 
  'So, mummy, why are those geese still here?  Why didn't they fly away?'
  'Oh, for god's sake, because they're a rogue group of couldn't be bloody arsed geese, allright? Now can you please stop chewing that feather and put it back down on the bank.'
  
  
  

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Me Featuring in The Sunday Times, Nicely...

  This happened. The editor thinks it's a book of dog sitter stories waiting to happen. I am scribbling away at same...  I first house-sat by accident. I was originally at Haven House, Lembton, as a live-in safety net for Lady Olive Simmonds, a seventy-nine year-old Bostonian with a lilac afro, a Temazepam habit and leg ulcers. Haven House was by the sea. Eighteenth century, elegant, comfortable.  But there was Olive... Always in pain; either drunk, hungover or both; barely educated. She had married a man who was knighted, and believed this gave her a licence to be a twat. According to Olive, her fellow Lembtonians were all dull academics - this group having reading ages older than hers, which was thirteen - or failed schizophrenics. She had serious monophobia, with staff working (unnecessarily) every day apart from weekends. At weekends, first thing, anxious, she would ring round the Lembtonians that were still speaking to her - six in number - inviting them for coffee, ...

The Marine Says I Must Re-queer...

                                                                 Being camp in Camp Basra... Stacks, ex-Royal Marines Commando, recently watched my Tutu Went AWOL! show on Zoom. He had notes. I was shifting from foot to foot, he said, and gesturing too much. 'And you must put back the stuff about the Brigadier and your fellow comedian being homophobic...' The Brigadier had been sneering about my act, saying it would be more suited to Butlins. But, more importantly, he believed I was an 'inappropriate influence on 42 Commando'.  Stacks, deadpan, commented, 'Sir, before Iestyn started hanging out with us, sir, it had never occurred to him to play Tiddlywinks with anything other than his thumb, sir.'  My fellow comedian, who I'll call Mark, because that's his name, asked Reg, Garrison Sergeant Major, in front of ...

I Love the Library

                            Therese, soprano, never uses a library. ‘Oh, no, Iestyn. Unlike you, I pride myself on always buying my books.’ I agree with Helene Hanff, who said that buying a book you haven’t read is like buying a dress without trying it on. ‘How do you know the dress will fit, Therese?’ I asked. ‘I always know what’s going to fit me, book-wisely speaking. I tune into asking the universe what it needs me to read for the greater good, go into the bookshop and find that I’m drawn to a department, then a section of carpet, then the particular shelf and there will book the book, in a sort of outline of almost light picked out from the others around it.’ ‘But there are billions of books out there, Therese, in umpteen shops, divided into squillions of bits of carpet and…’ She was giving me her look: a nurse at my hospital bed telling me the prognosis was far from ideal. ‘Yes, but with me it’s narrowed down q...